Turtles, Sharks and Owls

Are you are a Turtle, a Shark, a Teddy Bear, a Fox or an Owl when it comes to dealing with conflict?  I was at a course the other day where these conflict types were discussed and I found it a really interesting concept (you can read another post about the other things I learnt here).  I learnt a lot about conflict, the types of ways people deal with it and how to help students to learn to work through it in a positive way.  All good stuff.

The animals associated with how people instinctively deal with conflict:

Turtle - quiet, retreats from conflict by withdrawing and refusing to talk about the issue.  The turtle avoids conflict at all costs.  They tend to stay away from conflict and avoid the people they have conflicts with.

Shark - aggressive, 'my way or the highway'.  Sharks do not shy away from conflict.  Instead they try to force their opinion or way onto the person they are in conflict with.  They are determined to 'win' and like to compete.

Teddy Bear - does what is expected of them to avoid conflict.  They accommodate and make sacrifices to keep harmony.  A Teddy Bear tries to smooth things over and will put others before themselves in an attempt to preserve their relationships.

Fox - makes compromises, negotiates.  They give a little to get a little.  They are willing to sacrifice and maintain balance for the greater good.  Foxes do not avoid conflict but also don't seek to fully resolve the issue to the satisfaction of both parties.

Owl - comes to solutions that suit both parties, reasons, remains calm.  Owls are collaborative and place great value on goals and relationships.  They like to problem solve and work through a conflict fully to make sure that all parties are satisfied with the outcome.

The point of discussing the conflict types at the course wasn't to decide on which way of dealing with conflict was 'better' but more to allow people to realise the positives and negatives of the way that they operate in a situation where conflict in involved.  Depending on the situation, a person who has developed good conflict management skills may choose to behave in any of the conflict styles to get the outcome that is desired.

As a side note for those of you who read my Maker Time post, Miss Four was looking at her 'cake' earlier and as she was rummaging around in it found a M n M chocolate.  I cannot hazard a guess as to how long it was in there for or what it was touching (a dead cicada or lump of gravel perhaps).  It was promptly eaten.  Awesome.

Reference must be made to the Cool Schools Mediation programme where I heard this information, it is however, written in my own words and I do not claim any ownership over the concept.